Using my original method for dating (one girl a month at best), my odds of meeting that special someone were very low and theoretically it would have taken a long time to meet her. The issue here is the length of time only identifies part of the problem as it assumes that the “match” won’t move on to something else: a new job that she wouldn’t have been taken had she been in a relationship, settling for someone just to not be alone, etc.
Taking too long doesn’t just mean you’re looking longer. I believe that dating many people improves your chances in two ways: you have a better chance of meeting someone who you are looking for but you also potentially avoid missing out on someone who may move on if you never get around to meeting in the first place.
As the stress began to lessen, I started representing who I was much better.
Early on I was always in a panic-mode: trying to make sure everything went perfect on every date, overly concerned about the happiness of my date, worried about the impression I was making and so on.
When I was relaxed, there was no “doing better” or “doing worse”. For the rest of us, the biggest part of find that special someone is opportunity.
Some may meet on the first date, some may meet on the third but no one ever needs to go beyond a fifth date.
When I first started online dating, I had this notion that dating more than one person simultaneously would somehow be insincere. There were times where I would end up talking to a few girls at once but this was always accidental.
With this approach, I went on one first-date every month, sometimes less.
On one occasion when things were going very poorly, instead of stressing out, I told my date I didn’t think we were a great match but that we could still have fun over dinner.
She seemed relieved and agreed to try to enjoy the dinner.
I moved from one date a month to one a week and eventually was going on up to two first-dates a week.