My boyfriend and I just got back from Berlin, and we had a great time—until the last night.There was a dark room in the basement of this gay bar, and my boyfriend wanted to check it out and I did not.It's also the first time I've heard anyone associate fisting with constipation—typically when fisting is mentioned in the same sentence as constipation, FIST, it's as a cure.But it's a myth that fisting cures constipation, of course, along with anal sex being inherently dangerous. I was sexually and physically abused as a kid, and raped in my early 20s.I have been seeing a great therapist for the last five years, and I am processing things and feeling better than I ever have.But her higher brain functions get in the way, as she has internalized our culture's body shaming.She has likened me "sticking my nose down there" to "sticking my head in the toilet." Whenever I sexy-talk about licking her, she reacts with a mood killing "eww." But she says she would enjoy it if she could let me. When we have sex, she cuts foreplay short and gets straight to penetration.
When she does, she enjoys it and easily climaxes while receiving oral sex.
"Fisting is a safe activity, provided that both the top and bottom are sober at the time," said Dr. "It does not cause damage or constipation or any other type of bowel problem.
The same applies to other anal sexual activities including anal receptive intercourse (getting fucked) and use of toys (dildos, vibrators, etc.) for anal stimulation—again assuming this is voluntary on the part of the bottom and that both partners are not under the influence of mind-altering drugs during sexual activity." (For safety's sake, of course, buttfuckers should use condoms and gay and bi men get should get on Pr EP.) While many people engage in anal play while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and most emerge unscathed, uninfected, and un-constipated, FIST, getting fucked up before fisting is not a butt sex best practice.
The answer—how you go home with someone without panicking—is so obvious, SCARED, that I'm guessing your therapist has already suggested it: Have sex with someone you know and trust.
You didn't have any issues having sex with your ex because you knew and trusted him.
Dude Into Monogamy If it was your boyfriend's intent to reopen negotiations about monogamy while horny men circled you in a dark room, DIM, that wouldn't be okay.