Spouses of the BPD seem devastated and often end up with lives of quiet desperation or in the throes of accusations in court and parents end up believing that they are inadequate and incompetent. Have any readers been involved with a borderline personality disorder--either married to one, or have a parent, child or friend with this disorder-and if so, how did you cope?
Update: Some readers have emailed or asked for more information on a promising treatment for BPD called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT).
There are even books on how to divorce a Borderline or Narcissistic Personality that give strategies to reduce the damage done to a person during the process.
In a book entitled, "Splitting," one section looks at how a borderline can convince own lawyer that they are right and turn the lawyer against you--I believe it and have seen it happen.
That’s what I want to say to any woman reading this. The world is trying to squash you like an albino cockroach, and you deserve an apology. She thinks she’s too fat, and she’s disgusted with her own reflection. Who told females they had to be USDA-approved and ninety-eight percent lean?
Today’s modern female is expected to be a walking-talking industrialized domestic machine. Who in the H-E-Double-Cuss said beauty had anything to do with dress sizes? I don’t like what people are doing to other people. I don’t care for celebrities that People Magazine says I should care about.
My recomendation for a self-help book when coping with the aftermath of the borderline personality is Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder.
Protect yourself and your children by removing them and yourself from the situation.
I didn’t want to deal with her yelling and crying, so I just did as she asked.
The sad thing is, that person I de-friended was nice to me, even helpful.
Here are some tips from "Stop Walking on Eggshells" (page 140) with some of my own advice thrown in--for brevity's sake, I will list just a few, but if you want more detail-- get the book or go to BPD Central.1) Stop "sponging" and start "mirroring"--that is, some of those involved with borderlines tend to soak up the borderline's pain and rage and think this is helpful, but in reality, it is like filling up a black hole of emptiness and nothing is good enough.
You can try to placate the borderline and work hard to give them love, care etc. Instead--reflect the painful feelings of the borderline back where they belong--with the borderline. Show by your actions that you have the bottom line.