Your altruism might be noble, if it weren't masking sense of emptiness and emotional impotency where she's concerned.
His entire life may have been spent vilifying his dad, based on what he The Waif could be referenced or thought of, as "the quiet Borderline." You get the feeling she can't fend for herself, and you'll try to help her--even after it's over between you!If Waifs engage therapeutic support, it's typically in the midst of a severe crisis.Given they're inherently resistant to change and growth (which threatens their precarious sense of control) their progress in therapy tends to be very slow, and there are frequent setbacks and regressions.As difficult as this is to fathom, when you throw a life preserver to a Waif, she ignores/disregards it (throws it back), or resents the gesture.Don't assume this borderline is always physically thin/slender.
In essence, any feeling that is Anyone who has grown up with a BPD waif-type mother has observed a pitiful, long-suffering woman who won't leave her harsh, abusive or neglectful husband, no matter how bitterly she complains about him. Because pain is enlivening for her~ and without it she feels dead inside.