At , experience the pulse-pounding excitement of Mic Check." (audio technician): "Check 1, 2, Oprah, Oprah..." (voice-over): "At , catch Screaming Nut Job Crazy Hour." (clips): screaming nut jobs (voice-over): "And at , don't miss Backwards Oprah." (clip): Oprah talking backward (voice-over): "OWN: Where ••• desk chat: 1. Boehner obviously needs counseling to deal with his sobbing problem. Paul interjects with the thought that the pages aren't numbered because you can adjust the font size, thereby changing the number of words per page. Oz picks out quite a load of carbohydrates in the mix. He grabs Tony's cue cards, dumps 'em and rolls back offstage.
Dave shows us that the birds' wings are on backward. He first thought the birds happening was perpetrated by high school kids. Dave compliments Oprah for building a girls' school in Africa. (I guess it's different from a PDF, which retains the original numbers.) ••• Top Ten Things Overheard During the Republicans' First Day in Charge of the House ••• Dave has the i Pad™ at his command module. ••• Birds are falling out of the sky all over the place.
••• with credits: photo of Ryan Seacrest ••• Alan Kalter says good night.
Ryan interviewed one female who might be some sort of celebrity. ••• Dave's advice for the new year: "But seriously to you kids out there, if you're thinking about how to improve yourselves for the coming year, be less of a douche bag." (Late Show aaoogah horn again) ••• Top Ten Signs Your 2011 Is Off to a Bad Start ••• Brian Williams comes in loaded with comedy.
••• John Boehner was sworn in as Speaker of the House today. ••• New York City sponsored El Blizzardo Grande on December 27. / Photoshop fun: Stuffed-full trash bags are piled up almost to the top of the Late Show marquee. ••• As many as 5,000 deceased blackbirds were found around Beebe, Arkansas the other day. But one thing is clear." (product logo): Popeyes Fried Blackbirds™ (voice-over): "Now's the time to try Arkansas Broilers™ from Popeyes®!
Dave's never pleased when someone tries to make a buck off a bad situation. " (clip): happy kids munching on bird (voice-over): "Your family will love the different taste, and you'll love the savings we pass on by salvaging dead birds! Dave says horsedjoy and gets the Late Show aaoogah horn.
Anyway, her accountant told her she had all the money, so she started the network. With no page numbers, how do you know you're done with the book? Dave says, "And today, I saw my parakeet reading the obituaries in the bottom of his cage. " ••• Birds are falling out of the sky in England, too. Letterman," Tony finally replies, "I forgot a cue card upstairs." He's forgotten the Act 1 card, whatever that is. The CBSO gives us a musical interlude, and Dave gives us some Johnny Carson while we wait.
Before Oprah's shows, the staff all gather in the control and hold hands. ••• Jennifer Connelly plugs The Dilemma, a film by Opie Taylor. She's a stunning beauty, and she always has cool adventures (or mishaps) to tell us about. / Photoshop fun: There's one of 'em, legs up, on the hair of Amy Winehouse. Eddie Brill delivers dinner at 21 to an audience member. I was on the tour and got lost." (clip of stunned members of Congress) (Joe does his signature wrong-way exit.) (graphic): CNN logo ••• Alan Kalter with Big Show Highlights and, "Attention New York City tourists. ••• Top Ten Little-Known Facts About John Boehner ••• Out of commercial, Dave says, "I feel refreshed." A little big later, he says, "Half hour to get a banana." Apparently there was all kinds of spontaneous stuff going on between acts, and the CBSO must have put on a mini-concert. Dave gives a big shout-out to Bruce Kapler of the CBSO. Dave starts smashing stuff with the three-foot gavel: ••• Seth Rogen plugs The Green Hornet.