Simple rules to dating my teenage daughter

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter? Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.

The only way to get it to shut down is to hold the physical power button down till it shuts down.

But when Cate decides to return to work as a hospital nurse, Paul takes a job as a column 8 Simple Rules was a really funny sitcom.

re stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?? Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Bruce Cameron Please do not remove the copyright from this essay When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend? But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi.

The father, Paul Hennessy (John Ritter), was a sportswriter who is prompted by his wife Cate's (Katey Sagal) return to nursing to take a more active role in raising their two teenage daughters, Bridget (Kaley Cuoco), and Kerry (Amy Davidson), and son Rory (Martin Spanjers). discovers that Cate may be starting a clandestine relationship with Principal Gibb, he blabs it to Bridget. His job as a sports writer kept him on the road a lot during the kids' formative years. in charge of the detention of students on Ditch Day, and C. gets even by detaining Bri Paul had grown accustomed to Cate taking care of their son and two daughters. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you? You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter? Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is ? Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.

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no.: 4ACX11 First Aired: July 10, 2005 Guest Starring: Joanna Garcia Featuring: Peter Griffin, Meg Griffin, Mort Goldman, Neil Goldman Also Appearing: Stewie, Lois, Chris, Brian, Ray Romano, Patricia Heaton, Colin Farrell, Rupert, La Dawn, Jeremy, Santos & Pasquel, Paula Poundstone, Cicillia, Jake Tucker, Dustin Hoffman, Predator, Tundro & Gloop, Therapist Joe Director: Greg Colton Assistant Director: Steve Fonti Writers: Patrick Meighan Storyboarders: Young Lee Plot: When Peter goes to the pharmacy to buy condoms, he realizes he has forgotten his wallet.

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